"I'm Old"

This blog post has been swirling around my head for a while and it has been scribbled on paper in a few different forms but I was having difficulty with what I was trying to conclude. Then today, someone said the conclusion:

“The barrier was not the lack of opportunity. The barrier was needing security.”

So good, right? Well, stay with me. I have a point to make for anyone that wants to listen!

Over the years, I have responded to younger clients who say “I’m old” with “You're not allowed to say that if you're younger than me.” Maybe I made that comment in my 30s as well. Interestingly enough, I don’t make that comment at 52. Perhaps for a few reasons. I have lost enough people to know that it’s a privilege to age. I have embraced the grey. I have embraced (most of) the wrinkles. I know there’s more to come. I have been able to keep myself healthy and do the work to keep myself strong. I have had injuries and life events that made me lose the joy in all of that. I have been lucky enough to not have any really shitty hands dealt that made a come back even harder or impossible. So, am I old? Maybe. But maybe the connotation is different now. I am getting older. I am so very grateful for that because the alternative means I would be missing out on a whole lot that I still would like to do.

When someone says “I’m old” as a reason for not trying something new, I wonder, have they always lacked the confidence to try something new? Or do they just not really have a goal or something that piques their interest? And if they have a goal, is saying “I’m old” just a way to tell themselves it’s unreachable so they don’t have to fail? Is “I’m old” coming from inside? Or is it coming from someone or society around you?

Everyone has a starting point and everyone’s starting point is different. And although age can be a factor, it is not the sole factor of a modified starting point. So, if you say “I’m old” to give yourself grace, I get it. But maybe give yourself grace because you haven’t trained for anything for a while. It is reasonable that you’re not in the physical condition you once were. Give yourself grace because you’ve had a lot of years of looking after everybody else and you are trying to relearn how to look after yourself. Give yourself grace that you have never had the opportunity to try that new thing until now. But don’t simply say “I’m old” as a reason too not try. This goes for physical endeavors as well as any new opportunity.

There are multiple people and groups that are offering all sorts of opportunities. We all just have to be brave enough to lean outside of our comfort zones.

And again … “The barrier was not the lack of opportunity. The barrier was needing security.”